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A man was speeding down the highway, feeling secure in a gaggle of cars all
traveling at the same speed. However, as they passed a speed trap, he got
nailed with an infrared speed detector and was pulled over. The officer
handed him the citation, received his signature and was about to walk away
when the man asked, "Officer, I know I was speeding, but I don't think it's
fair - there ere plenty of other cars around me who were going just as fast,
so why did *I* get the ticket?" "Ever go fishing?" the policeman suddenly
asked the man. "Ummm, yeah..." the startled man replied. The officer grinned
and added, "Ever catch *all* the fish?"
A guy walks into a post office one day to see a very well-dressed,
middle-aged, balding man standing at the counter methodically placing "Love"
stamps on a huge stack of bright pink envelopes. Each envelope has hearts
all over it. The man then takes out a perfume bottle and starts spraying
scent all over them. His curiosity getting the better of him, he goes up to
the balding man and asks him what he is doing. The man says "I'm sending out
1,000 Valentines cards signed, 'Guess who?'" "But why?" asks the man. "I'm a
divorce lawyer," the man replies.
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